What's Wrong with Hoagie
by stjtiger
Summary: Romantic dinner turned fight turned confession time. Rated to be safe.


Abby looked up from her almost clean plate of home cooked speghetti to check on Hoagie. "So, how was work?"

"Good. I think we're close to a break through. How was school?" he answered.

"Oh it was fine. We started learnin' 'bout open heart surgery." After a long silence, Abby put her fork down and stared Hoagie in the eyes. "Who are you and what have you done with Hoagie Gilligan?"

"What are you talkin' about Abbs?"

"I married Hoagie Gilligan. A fun loving inventor that always loved a piece of action 'bout as much as a trunk full of candy; not to mention a would be romantic that can barely shut up some days. This person in front of me now is not him. And this is the third night that I got Rachel to look after Holly, so we could have the house to ourselves. I made you a home cooked meal for your supper that we ate in _silence_. This is not the Hoagie I knew. I want to know what the Hell's wrong with you!"

"What do you expect me to say?" Hoagie yelled.

"What will it take to bring back the Hoagie I fell in love with? Is it something I did? Is it something goin' on at work? What is goin on?"

"What would it take to bring back the party girl Abby, the Abby from high school? The Abby that couldn't stand to be away from me, and would come over every chance she got. The Abby that whispered sweet words of encouragment when we made love for the first time. The Abby that I fell in love with." Hoagie explained.

"I guess I just grew out of the constant parties and drinkin'. I still can't stand to be away from you. If you gave me the chance, I'd whisper those words of encouragment to you again." Abby revealed.

"I'm still a fun loving inventor, and I still love a piece of action even if I don't get it as much as I used to. At work, if we communicate, it's usually through paperwork not talking. I guess by doing that all the time, I lost my 'voice.'"

"I guess over the years we both changed. I just want the old Hoagie back."

"And I want the old Abby back."

After a short pause Abby got up and lead Hoagie to the liqour cabinet. "You know what? Screw the romantic dinner. Let's get drunk and be teenagers again." she said as she drank a shot of whiskey and gave him a deep, seductive kiss.

"Now that's the Abby I used to know. There's my angel."

"Yeah more like angel act for Daddy, and Hoagie's little devil when we're alone."

"Make that sexy little devil."

"Shut up before I change my mind. But it is nice to hear that from you instead of some guy in class."'

"Who's callin' you that? I'll go kick his ass. Nobody goes messin' with Hoagie's girl"

"Who said I didn't like it? And I'm sure you've got an act you put on for your parents and someone flirtin' with you at work, I just don't know who it is, yet."

"And if I did?"

"I'd knock some sence into the flirt. Nobody goes messin' with Abby's man. Now _do_ you have an act for your parents?"

"Oh yeah, as far as they know, I've never drank alcohol, didn't have sex 'til after high school. They don't even know I own a gun bigger than a twenty-two. I'm a little angel to my parents."

"Same here. As far as Dad knows, I'm Daddy's little girl. I'd never drink, swear, steal, or lie. I really didn't either 'til I's 'bout thirteen. He might've been a doctor, but Dad still had Mom's old liquor cabinet, and all it's contents." Abby laughed taking another swig.

"You know, what you just said reminded me of a song I heard the other day."

"And what song would that be, Baby?"

"'Drink, Swear, Steal, and Lie' I think it was. I'll never forget it 'cause it sounded like the way I feel 'bout you. 'I wanna drink from your lovin' cup, swear I'll never give you up, steal all your kisses underneath the moon light, I wanna lie there close to you. Oh what do you make me do. Darlin' you're the reason why I drink, swear, steal, and lie.'" Hoagie sang.

"Yup, there's the would be romantic. If you wanna get laid tonight, you're gettin' awfully close."

"How close?"

"Bedroom's right down the hall, do you want to get there now or later?"

"Did you really have to ask?" Hoagie pulled into a deep kiss and started guiding them down the hallway and remove her blue dress while she discarded his shirt and belt.


End file.
